When an investment becomes a gamble

Since I last blogged, I got a job. I am now an underemployed "service cashier" at one of the theme parks in central Florida. I actually do like the job. The people I work with are nice and fun to be around, and I get free access to the park. Although I had hoped that I would be through with jobs like this by now. Unfortunately, it only pays minimum wage. And I'm supposed to start paying back my students loans in December. I can defer payments, or possibly get the payment amount lowered (since I made practically nothing over the last couple of years). However, I cannot escape the fact that although I did my part to prepare for the "real world", I am still not ready for it.
While I was able to graduate on time, unlike some students profiled in this article on yahoo news, I graduated in time for the recession to start hitting everyone hard. As happy as I was to not have to fill out a FAFSA last winter, I'm starting to think that I should have. Although, if I were to go back to school and get my Master's, I would again enter the job market and have difficulty finding a job. Teachers with Master's degrees earn more money that teachers with just a bachelor's.
I don't really know what to do. All I can do right now is keep working (my job is classified as "seasonal," so I won't be getting many hours after the next couple of weeks) and keep applying to the full time positions I can find. And hope.

My education was supposed to be an investment, and maybe it still can be. But tonight, as I think about the loans that I have and the job that I don't, I'm wondering if maybe it was more of a gamble.

Of Mice and Young Women

The plan was simple: stay with my sister for a month or so while I got my first full-time-with-benefits-doing-what-I-went-to-school-for job, find an apartment near aforementioned job, and become an independent adult. The plan has failed.

After purchasing a car, I've had to devote plenty more of what I saved from student loans last year to maintaining my vehichle to drive into the store and back, and for a few job interviews (most of which, now that I think of it, I had to borrow my sister's car to get to). After feeling like I'm doing OK, I found myself with a flat tire two weekends ago, and had to pay Wal-Mart to replace it. It looks like now I'll have to start dipping into my savings (money gifts from my college graduation a year ago) to pay for little things, like my own food and gas.

Since moving down here, far away from my parents, I've gone ahead and applied at a couple of stores. Over the last week or so, I've definitely stepped up and started submitting a lot more applications, using careerbuilder and snagajob. So far, no responses. Hopefully, I'll be able to finish the process for at least one school district to substitute teach (they're taking their time). Meanwhile, I am far less optimistic as I apply to the few teaching jobs I can find anymore. Still, I'm applying.

I'm starting to wonder, what if I have to give up? The deal was not for me to mooch off of my sister indefinitely, and until I can get a job I won't be able to afford to find a roommate, let alone an apartment.

So as the plan fails, what is there to do? I am now being extra, extra careful with the money I have left (as opposed to extra careful). I am spending my days filling out applications for jobs that I thought I wouldn't have to work again. And I'm clinging to hope that I don't have to pack up and go home.

Trailer Review: Post Grad

Watch the Trailer for Post Grad here.

I've been seeing trailers for Post Grad since about the time I moved down here to find my first post-graduation job. I want to root for this, if only because Jane Lynch is always hilarious, but it's hard for me to want to watch someone in such a similar situation to my own, especially when it seems it's taking her a few job interviews to learn some basic social skills (like, don't ask someone you don't know if they're pregnant!) to some pretty basic strategies for job interviews. Namely, know something about the company/school you want to work at.
Before each of my yet-to-be-successful interviews, I have poured over the schools' improvement plans and websites to see what how I can fit in, and how I can help students do better on their standardized tests (yes, that's what education is about these days). That way, I can try to recall methods for improving reading comprehension or writing, or both, before I take my seat at the interview.
The last issue I have with the trailer is one I have with oh-so-many other films. While Bledel's character is going through a bit of a "20something crisis," why must she find love? In a phone conversation with a friend from high school last week, I had to explain why I wasn't looking for a boyfriend down here. The fact is, I'm unemployed and living with my sister. I wouldn't want to date me right now. I have a feeling that Bledel's finding love will ultimately lead her to a job which will restore her self-esteem, allow her to move out of her parents' house, and establish herself as a grown woman. Because grown women aren't single?
As a fan of Bledel's TV series The Gilmore Girls, I have to say, as much as the plots were almost always driven by romance, I give the series credit for ending with Bledel's character going off to achieve her lifelong dream of being a journalist without a boyfriend. Yes, that's right. While the other lead character finally reconnected with her ex-fiancee, Bledel's Rory was released into the world as a strong, single young woman, pursuing her career. I just wish that having a female character remaining single at the end of a film or TV series weren't so rare...

When the thrill of the hunt is no longer there

I have been job hunting since April. I have tweaked my resume, searched for job openings, and completed countless applications. The fruits of my labors include one phone pre-interview, one in-person pre-interview, and one real interview. Not one offer of employment, and only one of those interviews even delivered an email thanking me for my time, although I did not get to the second round interview. Since I'm a teacher, there really is a sort of deadline I feel looming for me to find a job. If I still can't find a teaching position, I can substitute, like many of my former classmates have decided to do in Michigan (where the competition is more fierce than the final runway competition on America's Next Top Model), but I really want a full time job, with benefits, a consistent paycheck, and a final destination where I can start to put down some roots.
I moved from Michigan to Florida last month hoping that by being in the state, I could more easily get interviews. While I've gotten two since I've been here, I'm getting tired of prepping myself to make a great first impression, worrying if my blouse is black or navy after all, and will the interviewer count it against me if it looks more navy but my shoes are black?
To try to keep myself interested in even finding the job I've been preparing for over the last five years, I've been reading The Passionate Teacher by Robert Fried. Although I haven't gotten through much of it since I started reading last month (it's hard for me to choose a book over Food Network, I'm ashamed to say), it's really reminded me why I want to be a teacher. What I love about my subject matter, and how much I believe in its importance to the development of young adults (and old adults, for that matter). A month after I first came here, hoping I could quickly find a job and prepare to be a full-time teacher, I can still find some thrill in what looks now like an endless parade of forms and handshakes.

UPDATE: Last night I dreamt that I had to repeat my year-long internship. Not a good sign...

Thank you

Thank you, Biore.

I'm 23 and still dealing with acne, although it is clearing up a bit. But thank you for letting me know that even if I should achieve an acne-free face, my work will still not be done. Oh, no, there will be plenty left for me to do with my skin! Thanks to Biore's new product line for "in between" faces, I will have more products to spread on my face every night. I was wondering what I would spend money on before I became self-conscious of wrinkles.

And I especially want to thank you for letting me feel even worse about the fact that I have been out of my teens for 4 years, and still haven't grown out of my acne phase. As I work to understand what it means to be an adult, a professional, and of course, a woman, I needed to be reminded of the fact that due to my acne, I have been asked if I was a student or a teacher. (OK, I guess I don't know for sure it was the acne, but it's still a pretty good guess.)

So thank you, Biore, and I look forward to giving you my money in attempt to satisfy my self-consciousness and physical insecurities for years to come.

20something nostalgia

In yesterday's New York Times, this article appeared, discussing the nostalgia that's hitting 20somethings these days. The article focuses on Harry Potter, which truly was a part of my adolescence (I read the first books in middle school and read the others as soon as I could have my turn with the family's copy). As I read the article, I thought about some of the things I've been reading and watching lately.
On my drive to move down here to Florida, I packed several books, including a Jane Austen novel and In Her Shoes. Instead, I reread (for the umpteenth time) Ella Enchanted. This was my absolute favorite book in middle school (until I discovered Hamlet), and I've gone back to it every now and then. Perhaps it's nostalgia, perhaps it's simply my admiration for a simple love story with only a few gimmicks and a tough heroine who can rescue herself.
Since I've been around during the day, I've started watching reruns of Home Improvement on TBS in the afternoons. This sitcom is the only TV show I can remember my entire family enjoying together, so I'm sure I'm watching in part because I miss them (and the lack of alternatives at noon). While I was watching, however, I noticed how different Tim Allen's TV family was from so many other sitcom families.

1. Tim Allen and Patricia Richardson look like an actual middle-aged married couple. Neither is significantly heavier than the other, nor is does either of them seem "hotter" than the other (ie King of Queens, Still Standing, According to Jim)
2. Both adults in the relationship desire sex. In the episode where Tim is struggling to balance business and having a romantic weekend with his wife at a hotel, Jill is the one who initiated a conversation about the fact that they hadn't been intimate.
   
3. Tim Taylor doesn't seem to care if his sons have girlfriends (although throughout the series, I believe all of them do), but does care about their happiness and safety. Unlike the geeky son on Still Standing, nerdy Mark doesn't worry his father because he might not be successful in dating. Instead, Tim worries about the other "goth" friends his son brings home.
   
4. In the episode when the parents suspect their oldest son may be having sex, neither celebrates the fact. In fact, both of them panic. The dad then has "the talk" with him explaining sex as an emotional step, rather than a rite of passage into manhood. This is the type of talk one would only expect (sadly) between mothers and daughters on TV.
   
   What about you (if anyone's out there)? Did you watch Home Improvement? Did I remember anything incorrectly? What TV show/movie/book do you go to when you feel nostalgic for your childhood?
   

Car troubles

I didn't bother getting my driver's license until right before spring break my senior year of high school. I knew I wasn't going to be getting a car, and that I would just be sharing my mom's minivan. And I didn't mind getting rides from my mom after school (sometimes she'd buy me mozzerella sticks at Arby's before taking me to work!) or from my friends to parties and other social events (I didn't get asked to contribute too much to gas, even when I offered). Throughout college, I took the bus everywhere - except for a couple of cab rides to and from a test I had to take off campus early in the morning. Then last year I was taking out loans for school so that I wouldn't have to work as I did my year-long student teaching, and was fortunate enough to live near the bus station downtown so I didn't need a car to add to my expenses.
In the last month, however, I have "embarked on my adulthood," and so have begun to empty the last of my savings (which were unspent student loan funds - plus a couple substitute teaching checks) by purchasing a car. I found a 2001 Mitsubishi Galant that cost about $4,000 at a small family-owned dealership. Driving it home from the dealership, I felt great.
The next day, however, the 'check engine' light came on. I had it checked, and had to get a new thermostat for the engine. That still did not fix it, but the alternative problem was the catalytic converter, which my mechanic told me didn't need immediate attention as I'm searching for a job.
Then last week the battery died. I didn't leave the lights on (I checked), it just apparently died. I had that replaced on Friday, drove it home, felt great that it hadn't cost enough that I had to put it on the credit card I was prepared to go into debt with. Yay!
Then today I got into my car to look for something before taking my sister to the airport. After searching, I pressed the lock button. Nothing happened. Muttering some foul words, I shoved in my key and turned desperately. The car was dead again. Again, I checked the lights, and they were off. I even checked the wipers - also off. I don't know what I possibly could have done to this car.
Luckily, my sister is out of town this week and gave me permission to use her car if I needed to. Unfortunately, this is not how car ownership was supposed to work. Owning a car was supposed to help me lessen my dependence on other people. No more waiting until someone else wanted to go with me, no more asking permission to take a car someplace, having to tell someone else where I was going. A car was supposed to be at least a little bit of freedom as I try to rise above living with my family and depending on them for food and shelter. Instead, I feel like it's chaining me down to my dependence even more.